Tips from someone without a job

In my past lives I have had a lot of HR responsibilities.  One of which was screening resumes and cover letters for job openings.  I have read some of the wackiest resumes and cover letters on the planet (see anecdotes at bottom).  And some of the most drab and boring resumes.  Here are some tips that I have learned along the way. 

1. Never ever ever send a Word document (unless specifically requested).  Always PDF your resume or cover letter.  You do not want an editable document with your name on it floating around.
2. Do not put your desired salary on your resume (unless specifically requested.)
3. Resumes are not a proper forum to showcase your sense of humor.  Save that for happy hour.
4. When applying for a job, always include a cover letter, even if they don't ask for one.
5. If you have a multi-paged resume, make sure each job is on the same page.  Do not go from page one to page two in the middle of listing your job duties. 
6. Use bullet points to showcase skills.
7. When including your contact information, do not use your personal super witty email moniker.  I.E. "supercooldude@xyz" Set up an email address with your actual name.
8. Make sure bullet points and sentences align.  Nothing worse than wayward bullet points.
9. Customize each resume to each job opening.  It's as simple as rearranging your skill bullet points or rewording them to use their terminology.
10. Do not get too personal on your resume or in your cover letter.  This is not the forum to declare your undying love for The Beatles or state you frequent the pub on Saturdays.
11. Always be honest.  If you lie, it will come back to bite you in the butt.

Anecdotes:  I was screening resumes for a front desk person at a computer software company.  There was a specific applicant that had worked at her family's farm.  Instead of making her job sound appealing, she listed her title as "Shit Shoveler".  See tip number 3 above.  Needless to say, she went into the "Um Hell No" pile.

At another job I was screening resumes and cover letters for an HR position.  I received a great resume with tons of experience and a well written cover letter.  While conducting a phone interview I asked her the standard question of "what kind of environment do you like to work in?"  I will never forget her response.  "I am a traditional woman.  At my last job there was a bisexual person.  I couldn't possibly work with a homosexual."  The one thing I hated about interviewing people was that I couldn't give them my opinion.  Inside I was screaming "you homophobic piece of shit!" but I had to remain calm and tell her that we welcomed all types of people and enjoyed diversity.  Still to this day (it was about 8 years ago) I can't believe her response.  She was applying for an HR position for Pete's Sake!

Resumes and cover letters are your first impression to a potential employer.  Make sure you spend some time perfecting them.  I'm not about to state that I have the worlds best resume, but I think it works really well for me.  No one is beating down my door to hire me (just yet) but I have received 3 interviews out of the 12 resumes I have sent out.  Not too shabby.