Prepare yourself blog readers, I'm stepping up on my soap box (again) and gonna spew/vent/verbally diarrheate all over the place. It's gonna get messy...
In the past few months I've had a few in-person and phone interviews. None of them worked out in the long run due to a variety of reasons. And no, wanting to sit at home on my growing butt is NOT one of the reasons. One of the interviews I had went AWESOMELY! Seriously, I rocked it. Midway through my interview the interviewer said "I'm sold on ya, why don't you come back for a second interview with my partner next week? I'll let you know soon when to come back." Rad. Score. I'm sooooo there. NOT! (yes, I just intentionally used the late 80s early 90s bail out "not.")
While sitting on my growing butt at home and waiting for the call to come back, I received an email. "Before you come in for your next interview, please write a marketing plan including how you would increase our prospective client list and profits, and detail specific marketing campaign plans with time lines and budget." Really? You want me to write a marketing plan for you? Are you going to pay me a consulting fee to do it? Seriously, I don't understand who in their right mind would do such a task without being employed by the company. What's to stop them from not hiring me yet still using my ideas? Needless to say, I had to decline. I did offer up writing samples and my references. I haven't heard back from them. That was a month ago.
It is this anecdote that has forced me to coin the phrase "something for nothing." Okay, I didn't really coin that phrase, but I may be the first to apply it to a type of bullshit interviewing process that companies have started adopting. I really wish this was the only instance of this bullshitocity, but alas, the saga continues....
And the 2nd story goes: I applied for a position with an association that has paying members. In fact, my husband's company is one of the paying members. This association was looking for an Events and Marketing Coordinator. Awesome. I'm a perfect fit! Yahoo! Long story short, a few days before my interview I received an email that said "Interview Assignment" in the subject. I thought, okay, cool, they want writing samples, no biggie. Oh no. Not even close. They asked for a 20-30 page marketing plan. Jaw. On. The. Floor. They wanted detailed lists for media distribution, budget details, target audiences, marketing campaign ideas, etc. Any Marketing Guru (such as myself) would agree, that is ridiculous. Ri-freakin-diculous! Icing on the cake? They wanted it in a Word document. As if requesting the 30 page marketing plan wasn't insulting enough - they wanted it in a format in which they could easily "borrow" from. I would like to thank Whitney Houston (the crack addicted one) for giving me the words to express myself in this moment - Hell to the no!
It is these two instances that leave a sour taste in my mouth. And no, that is not from the Sour Patch Kids I just devoured. Mental note to self: Sour Patch Kids may just in fact be contributing to my growing beeeehind. Anywho...why in the world do companies think it is okay to get something for nothing? Is there an evil HR person behind this? Or is an over-worked and under-paid bean counter to blame? I understand companies need to get the most bang for their buck, but at what expense? The expense of a prospective employees integrity? I'm sure there are desperate people out there that would jump at the opportunity to offer up free advice and marketing plans - but I am not one of them. Although, I just realized I only have 10 weeks left of unemployment benefits. Perhaps in 8 weeks I will reconsider hanging on to whatever integrity I have left.
Shame on you advantage-taking employers. Shame on you.
